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I don't believe she enjoyed the torture, especially considering the extent of the damage, but on some level, a part of her had not only enjoyed it, but really gotten off on it, and the guilt was slowly killing her.Okay, so now I knew what the problem was, so what do I do now? As I said, there had to be more to it than just knowing the problem. I wasn't really that close to being ready for bed so I started making notes about things that stood out in what I had seen. I even went on-line to start looking around for information. Apparently there is a whole subculture out there that I didn't know about. Not surprising considering I'm only sixteen and just getting started. This wasn't exactly beginner's stuff.In the show, Lady Heather had stressed empowerment. At first that confused me and it took a while for it to filter through. This dark new world that I was supposed to learn about, apparently needed to learn about, was all about trust and control. The weirdest part was that the .... " I admitted."Then you won't mind, if we turn out some of these lights," Simon suggested."No, it is a little bright for this kind of conversation," I admitted."That was my opinion exactly," James said. Once the lights were down he filled Simon in on what he had learned from me at dinner. I was surprised that he did it, and that I allowed it."Did you really jack off a guy at thirteen?" he asked."Yes but he was sixteen. I was trying to be more mature. That did not extend to giving him a blowjob," I said."Now you didn't tell me that part, how old were you when you swallowed your first cock?" James asked."If that is metaphorically speaking, then I was seventeen. Yes, it was even after I gave it up to a guy. I know they say girls suck, then fuck, but not in my case." I said honestly. "It isn't very romantic, when you put it that way is it?" No. but it is honest, and I like honest," Simon said. "I have to admit that I had a middle age neighbor go down on me before I turned sixteen." Sounds.
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